If I lie here, just lie here would you lay with me?
by amanderr95
Summary: Clarke's in a coma and Bellamy's losing his mind. Deep into her subconscious Clarke visits the past, find memories long forgotten and comes to term with how things should be but are not.


She looked up into the eyes she's come so accustomed to seeing. Her heart fills with a warmth that she's quite unsure how to process. She mentally filed it away to analyze later. Those big whiskey colored orbs get to her every time. Her breath catches in her throat as she see's the walls he's built around his heart slowly start to tumble down. She's counting the freckles along the bridge of his nose when she see's his mouth moving frantically but no sounds are escaping them. Her forehead crinkles in confusion when suddenly she's spiraling into blackness.

She gasps as she lands onto her back with a hard thud. Her eyes shoot open, wide and worried. Slowly pushing herself into a sitting position she takes a good hard look at her surroundings. It's dark with shadows dancing around into nothing. There's an emptiness surrounding her. Shivering goosebumps rise on her skin.

"Hello..?" She calls out. "Is there anyone there?".

Nothing. The place is like a ghost town. Not even a whisper was to be heard. Looking around, the place seemed familiar. "Have I been here before?" She thought. Her feet moved shuffling along on their own accord. Bits of memories came floating back to her. Literally floating past in wisps. She wandered for what seemed like hours but was only moments. Panic started swelling in her chest. "I-I- I don't understand, where is everyone?!" thoughts started swirling in her head fast, her heart pounding against her rib cage. Collapsing to the ground she heard a faint voice next to her ear "Clarke…" and just like that the voice was gone. Looking to the side where she heard the noise and everything went dark.. again.

xxx

"Clarke.. Clarke. Please please just open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful blues. Clarke? Can you hear me? Baby please." Bellamy whimpers into Clarke's golden hair.

He lays there with his face buried into her hair for what seems like ages. He doesn't hear the doctor walk in, doesn't even notice she's there until her hand's placed on his shoulder. He looks up into the similar blue eyes that reminds him of the girl laying lifelessly on the hospital bed.

"Bellamy," Doctor Abby Griffin's voice is stern yet compassionate "You need to sleep too. You've been up for days." She takes note of the bags under his eyes, his disheveled hair and the gleam of sleep deprivation in his eyes. Abby sighed, "Bellamy, please. We can call Octavia and Raven and have them come stay for a couple of hours so you can go home, shower and sleep for a little while."

Bellamy just looked at her. His eyes brown eyes bore through her icy blue ones. A battle of dominance shot between them both. After a minute of eye contact he broke it by raking his hands through his hair and looking back down at Clarke. A tear drop escaped his eye dripping down along his cheak with a quiet sob.

Abby has never seen him look so lost, so broken. The hope and fire was gone from his eyes. A gaze that used to burn bright, brighter than a body returning to earth, has sizzled out into the remaining embers from a fire. She doesn't want to do this but it's for the best, for both of them. "Bellamy Blake do Not make me call Aurora. Because you Know for a fact she'll drag you out of here." Hands on her hips with a glare to match the fierceness in her eyes, Abby Griffin was a force to be reckoned with.

Bellamy glared back, fists clenching at his sides. His jaw ticked with frustration. Inwardly he knew that Abby was right. He stood protectively in front of Clarke's body for a few precious moments. His gaze dropped and reluctantly agreed. Frowning he looked down at Clarke, smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back beautiful." He whispered as he walked away.

xxx

"Bellamy! Bellamy! Where are you?" She screamed into the darkness. Her lungs were raw and her voice hoarse. Tears streamed down her face as she searched frantically around the void. Coming up short she stopped, dropped her hands to her knees and let out a shaky breath. "Okay Clarke, calm down. You'll figure something out. You always do. You're a fighter." She straightened up, fixed her shirt and guarded herself. Nothing seemed to change, except every once in awhile she'd hear voices of loved ones. Heart rate spiking in excitement only to be disappointed when no one showed up. Frustrated she tugged at the ends of her hair. A strange noise caught her attention. "Is that a… a baby crying?" She wondered. Walking towards the noise, light finally shone through a crack in the wall. Reaching out she stuck her hand through to the other side and started spiraling down into the light. Her screams dye out in her throat as she lands with another hard thump. "Fuck this really needs to stop happening." Clarke mutters to herself. Standing up she takes a look around.

She's inside the Blake's old family house. The musty smell invades her senses. Pictures still litter the wall in an unorderly fashion. Aurora never did know how to make things even. As a mother it was worse. She did try her best for her children, but it wasn't always enough. Bellamy ended up raising Octavia, granted she became a wonderful person it still put a strain on Bellamy. His motto was always "My sister, My responsibility." Which I always respected him for. To take that sort of dedication and love is incredible. Shivers run down her spine as she thinks of her mother's betrayal to her father. "Okay, time to figure out what's going on." Taking a look around she finds an old newspaper. "1995? That doesn't seem right. Present time it should be…" She's cut off by a blood curdling scream and a baby crying. "What the hell?" She goes running.

Clarke slams the bedroom door open to a very facinating but apolling sight. A young Bellamy, about seven years old, holding a newborn Octavia wrapped in a pink blanket. Aurora is slipping into unconciousness next to Bell. "Your sister, your responsibility." She muttered as her eyes fluttered shut. Young Bellamy looked on in admiration at his sister. "Augustus had a sister," He smiled "Octavia. Such a pretty name." He closed his eyes and kissed her forhead. "Shh, Shh." He whispered, sticking his finger in her mouth as she started fussing.

Clarke wandered around the house taking in it's every detail. The house had a homey feel to it, even back then. There was a certain feel to it. In the living room there were mythology and history books scattered in a reading nook. Along the door frame there were markings of how tall Bellamy was getting, ranging from about every six months. She went outside into their backyard. It wasn't too big but it wasn't too small. The grass was nice and green and there was a tire swing attached to one of the trees. As she went to go back inside everything seemed to move and she flashed forward about two years to Octavia's second birthday.

"O! Come see me." Bellamy squatted down and held his arms out for his baby sister. A bright eyed, chubby smiling toddler came waddling towards him. Bellamy scooped her up and tickled her belly. Hugging her close he whispered "Happy Birthday beautiful." Octavia just squealed in return. Clasping her little hands on his cheeks she placed a drooly kiss on his lips. "EW!" Bellamy laughed, wiping off his mouth with a huge smile.

It went on like that for a good amount of time, even though there seemed to be no time here at all. Nothing changed but the images floating around her. Even though there were memories of the people she cared about floating amidst her she still felt alone. She watched Octavia's 2 year old life flash before her eyes. She watched the love Bellamy had for his sister grow with each passing day. The bond they share grew to an incredible level. One would even think to pass Bellamy off as the parent if it weren't for his age. Octavia's first word was "Bell!". Which happens to still be her favorite nickname for him. Octavia adores her brother. That is her superhero.

Clarke just laid down on the ground and curled into a ball. Tears silently cascaded down her cheeks. Taking deep breaths and calming her heart rate she slowly drifted into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
